Make your own Navy Seal Copypasta

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IceCubeCat

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About
Navy Seal Copypasta
(also known as the “Marine Copypasta,” “Internet Tough Guy Copypasta” and “Gorrila Warfare Copypasta”) is a facetious message containing a series of ridiculous claims and grandios threats that portray the poster as an Internet tough guy stereotype. In the original post, the writer claimed to be a former Navy Seal with a long history of combat experiences, using comical typos and hyperboles like “Gorrila Warfare,” “300 Confirmed Kills” and “I can kill you in over 700 ways with just my bare hands.” Since its emergence in mid-2012, the copypasta has spawned a variety of spin-off stories, similar to the John Copypasta meme.

Origin
The copypasta is believed to have originated on the military and weapons enthusiast image board Operator Chan sometime in 2010. The earliest archived posting was submitted on November 11th, 2010 to 4chan’s /jp/[4] (Otaku Culture) board, in which the poster claimed to have seen the message previously on Operator Chan.

Original:
'What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.'


Now it's time to make your own, ladies. Edit the text as much as you want and comment it. Let's see how creative the community can get.

IceCubeCat101 Version:
'What the duck in the name of Chick-fil-a's Chicken Nuggets that you choked on three years ago did you just give a speech about me, you little post-feline dog esquizitor? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Being Better Than Your Mom Class, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids of your locker, and I have 300 gallons of lemonade in my shirt. I am trained in heavily in how to not manage a network and I’m the top time waster on all of the Western World. You are nothing to me but just another person to annoy. I will mug you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my bacon. You think you can get away with breathing? Think again, hillbilly trucker. As we speak I am demanding my secret network of child labored hampsters to find your persian cat and euthanize it, so you better prepare for the money because I'm making it rain, noodle head. The money that turns your pathetic little thing you call your family into Bill Gate's haircut. You’re frickin' alive, woman. I can't be anywhere, anytime, but I can talk to you on the internet and impress you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my #420yolo$weg. Not only am I extensively trained in smack talk, I have the entire set of dictionaries I can throw at your head, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable local KFC off the face of Kenya, you little nooblet. If only you could have known what chicken-summoning retribution your little “dumb” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have mailed me $50,000 cash. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you little scrub. I will eat your laptop and you will praise me for it. You’re still reading this, aren't you?'


Have fun folks.
Miles.
 
Banned forever. Reason: Cloning MC-Market, read the FAQ.
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